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Sunday, 30 December 2012

Precognition

So lately I've been having this really weird feeling. I can't really explain it except that something big is going to happen. It might only affect me - it might affect the whole world. But it's charging towards me with an army of ghosts I've buried and it's going to turn my soul to ashes on the wind.

It's a very strong sense of foreboding, and I hate feeling like this. Be on your guard - just in case.

SG x 

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Christmas Fever (And the End of the World)

So, as I write it is only 6 days until Christmas.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

You probably noticed that I'm a tad excited. I can't wait this year - although our house is always packed with people, it's actually just going to be the four of us and the dog this year, a small but select gathering of happy people in the living room, opening presents. Our tree looks absolutely fantastic - although we've had to leave the lower branches bare, my dog kept trying to eat the tinsel.

The Polar Express and Tintin are most definitely going to be watched on Christmas Eve, along with eating my mum's FAMOUS mince pies - ohmigod, if you haven't tried my mum's mince pies then you literally haven't lived, they are the BEST - then roast turkey with all the trimmings on Christmas Day - this year is going to be FAB, I can just see it.

However, some rather negative people don't believe that we're going to get to Christmas this year, that in fact the world is going to end JUST BECAUSE THE MAYAN CALENDAR ENDS on the 21st December. True, the Mayans were very clever people. But I seriously doubt they were clever enough to predict when the world was going to end. Below is a little video that a Mr Charlie McDonnell was kind enough to make about the end of the world...enjoy.


He is absolutely correct of course. There is NO proof WHATSOEVER that the world is going to end on Friday. But, just in case you get a little freaked out, here's some links to 'Survival Guides and How to Pack Them.'

http://apocalypsesurvivalguide.org/
http://www.survivetheapocalypse.net/category/survival-guide/

Signing off now, methinks - got a heell of a lot of stuff to do around the house 'n' catch ups 'n' stuff...oh YEAH! You guys don't know! Well, basically, about a week and a half ago, I had a teensy operation to get my tonsils taken out because I've been sick since the middle of August. But apart from a bad day last week, I'm back to my old, crazy, normal self - I didn't realise how ill I'd been!

In the words of Charlie,

'Always deny the Apocalypse, because you'll usually be right, and when you're wrong, there'll be nobody around to say I told you so.'

Love,

ScotsGirl x

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Have You Seen Slender Man?

So, there's been a lot of buzz on the interweb this year about a crazy, freaky game called Slender. In this game, you are locked in a park at night, along with this mysterious entity known as Slenderman

I saw some people playing it online. Their reactions were pretty funny, so I thought I might as well download the game - which is free - and play it whilst I was at school. It didn't look too frightening to me.

I was so wrong.
The whole game takes place at night, inside a large, circular, heavily-wooded park. You are given a flashlight with very little range, and your aim is to find eight pages which have crazy scrawls on them, with messages such as "can't run" and "he sees you" in creepy, scratchy handwriting. Not sounding so bad, is it? The trouble is, they depict this creepy guy called Slenderman. And once you've found the first page...he comes looking. 

The rest of the game is pretty much you trying to get away from him and his creepy thundering music, without dying. The worst part of it all is that if he gets close to you, your screen starts to fill with static as the Slenderman slowly drives you insane. The game is rigged so that you can't exit the game in panic when the static starts to fill your screen, so you either get away or you get freaked out.

But what exactly IS Slenderman?

The myth of Slenderman started on a forum competition on the website Something Awful, entitled "Create Paranormal Images." Slenderman is traditionally depicted as a tall, humanoid being with extra long arms and legs. He can be from 7-15 feet tall and is a passive-aggressive character, often stalking his victims for years at a time, slowly driving them insane until he feels it is safe to kill them.
I won't say too much more, except that the Slenderman myth has stemmed a whole load of games and spin-off series, such as MarbleHornets, a creepy YouTube series which all focuses around the Slenderman. It's an ARG style series - alternate reality game - which means that everything has to appear as realistic as possible. This means that locations, etc, are all real places. It's quite confusing.

If you're still keen on finding out more about Slenderman, I wish you luck. Don't look back, don't stop running. 

ScotsGirl x 

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Why John Green is AMAZING

Every year, for the past few years, there has been a massive conference in America called 'VidCon', where lots of people who vlog on YouTube are invited to go and speak, whether about their experiences or just to have a bit of fun with other people. VidCon is quite a big deal, and is watched and attended by millions of people every year. It was first arranged by the so-called 'Kings Of YouTube', the VlogBrothers.

It is one of the VlogBrothers, John Green, that I wish to write about today.

He's an author of some of the most heart-breaking, awe-inspiring, simply GORGEOUS books I have ever had the good fortune to read. He was first recommended to me by my best friend - and some of his books, most noticeably 'A Fault in Our Stars', left me in tears, begging to know what happened to his characters. Although I haven't read his Christmas novel (mainly because I'm only reviewing the ones that I've read so far) I'd just like to give some thoughts on all of his books to date. Dedication or what!

An Abundance of Katherines
The fairly long story of Colin Singleton, a child prodigy who has realised that he may no longer be a prodigy, but just a very smart person. He also has a thing about girls called Katherine - he's dated 19 girls called Katherine, all of whom have played the Dumper and left him the broken-hearted Dumpee. So when Colin and his friend Hassan go on a road trip, they end up in the unlikeliest place, where Colin finds himself surrounded by a very different style of life.
I thought this book was okay, but not his greatest. There are some hysterically funny parts - I actually found myself laughing out loud at one point - but quite a bit of the novel is...I don't really know how to describe it. Not the greatest book, but still one worth reading - especially since Colin invents a formula in which you can predict the timespan of a relationship!

Will Grayson, Will Grayson
The story of two boys - both named Will Grayson - and how one mutual friend collides their worlds together. The story is told from two different viewpoints - Will Grayson, with a nice house and a perfect family, and although lonely, has an extremely dramatic best friend, who helps to cheer things up again - and Will Grayson, who lives in a different state. He hates his life, and lives with his mother - the dad isn't around -  and it's a seemingly random connection that joins those three boys together.
As it was the first book I'd read, it was imperative that John needed to weave an intricate tapestry of words and emotions and characters - and by the fourth chapter, I was hooked. Originally, I'd started it whilst round a mate's house, and the second I got home I went out and bought the book, reading it from cover to cover without stopping until I'd finished the tragic yet absolutely hilarious story that was Will Grayson, Will Grayson. Definitely the book to read if you're new to John Green.

Looking For Alaska
The first John Green book that really touched my heart. The heart breaking story of a nice enough kid who chooses to go away to boarding school for his junior year and makes two new friends, 'The Colonel' and Alaska, a sharp, cheeky teenage girl who has a hell of a lot to give the world. I won't spoil the plot too much but this is definitely, absolutely, a must read. 
I think one of the great things about this book is the sheer number of quotes that can be found within it's pages - the most used being, of course, 'I go to seek a Great Perhaps.' (Francois Rabelais). I think it's a beautifully tragic book - I think it important to mention that most of Green's books are sad, dealing with very real social issues - but nevertheless I just couldn't put it down, not until I had found out what really happened with Alaska, given the title. It did get a couple negative reviews owing to some parts of the book being of a slightly adult nature, so I wouldn't let younger kids read it.

Paper Towns
This is actually a real concept, in which a town can be named as a dot on a map but does not actually exist in real life. Paper Towns follows a boy called Quentin, known as Q, who goes on a treasure hunt - a paper trail, of sorts - in order to find a childhood 'sweetheart', Margo, who was his next door neighbour. Along the way both he and his friends start to question whether they are finding clues where there are none.
This was quite the mystery. It was wonderfully written, weaving together Q and Margo in flashbacks and memories until their destinies seemed to be irreparably entwined with Q finding Margo.
It was a very well written book, but rather confusing at times and I often found myself flicking back through the pages in order to just catch myself back up to speed.

The Fault In Our Stars 
His latest, and undoubtedly best book. This has beaten countless others to become my favourite book, simply because of the heartbreaking love story within its pages. TFIOS tells the story of Hazel, a 16-yr old terminal cancer patient, and how she is dealing with her illness - right up to her weekly Support Group where she meets Isaac, her partially blind cancer survivor friend, and Augustus, who lost a leg to cancer a year before. This heartbreaking novel details how much cancer can affect the best of us, and brings this difficult topic to light in a gentle, sensitive way.
When I finished this book, I cried. I sat there, mourning over the characters as if I knew them personally. And in a strange way, I feel like I did. John Green had brought them to life so effortlessly, yet so elegantly, that you couldn't help but wish that Hazel and Augustus and Isaac were people that you knew and loved.
If you don't read any other John Green novels, read this one. You won't regret it.

I think the market for teen reading has changed dramatically in recent years. Where it used to be 'Catcher in the Rye' and 'To Kill a Mockingbird', it is now 'Twilight' and 'Hunger Games', and whilst I enjoy that kind of fantastical reading, John Green is my favourite author because he manages to make the bleakest of stories the ones that I will want to read over and over and over again. It is an incredibly difficult thing to so, and he has managed to do it so well.

DFTBA, guys.

ScotsGirl X

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Favourite Quotes

Just thought I might share these to help you get through the day. Enjoy!

"I dream, therefore I become." - Cheryl Grossman

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give - which is everything." - Anon.

"Dreams have as much influence as actions." - Stephane Mallarme

"To die will be an awfully big adventure." - James Barrie

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - James Barrie.

"My thoughts are stars that I cannot fathom into constellations." - Unknown.

"Dream no small dreams. They have no power to stir the souls of men." - Victor Hugo

"Acceptance. It is the true thing everyone longs for. The one thing everyone craves. To walk in a room and to be greeted by everyone with hugs and smiles. And in that small passing moment, you truly know you're loved, needed, and accepted." - Rena Harmon

"Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space." - Douglas Noel Adams

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure." - Hellen Keller

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Take A Piece of Paper...

Do it. Go on. Go and fetch a piece of paper.

Now stamp on it. Tear it, crumple it, scribble all over it, call it the nastiest names and insults you can think of.

Now smooth out the paper. Try and rub out the pencil markings. Smooth out the corners and try to glue together the tears.

It's not the same as it once was. It still looks tattered and imperfect.

Now think about if that piece of paper was a person.

Bullying leaves scars.

Don't be the one to cause them.

Does Time Really Heal Everything?

The story behind today's cryptic title is taken from the dramatic musical 'Mack And Mabel', a story between an actress and her film director - they fall in love, he wants different things, blah blah blah...anyway, she ends up leaving him, heartbroken, and sings 'Time Heals Everything' in a vain attempt to tell herself that she will get over him eventually. However, by the time he decides that he does love her, she's died.

Not that this isn't a morbid post or anything, just felt that I haven't really posted on here for a while and since I was feeling pretty nostalgic today, figured I might as well get back to writing.

I wonder how many of you who are reading this post have lost contact with people, people who you called friends. I wonder whether you ever had an argument and just never really reconnected, or whether one day...they just stopped. Stopped texting, calling, tweeting, posting or messaging you on facebook. It's like they've vanished off the face of the earth, or - to bring a bit of magic into it - they're wearing an invisibility cloak, only for you. I wonder whether any of you ever wish you could have changed what you did, if only to have them back in your life. I wonder whether you miss them.

Because it happened to me. And to be totally honest, it hurts. I never knew what I did wrong, whether someone had told them a lie or spread a rumor about me saying something about them...but either way, it stopped. I'm not really sure what to do in these situations. I messaged her a couple of times, and eventually left it at "I don't know what I did wrong, or why you've stopped messaging me, but it's fine. I hope we're still friends." Personally, I'm not sure she's going to respond. I'm upset because I've known her for years - she's been there through several of my dramas, and vice versa, and now to get total radio silence from her is a little hurtful.

I'm going to use a little metaphor just to make some sort of sense, especially to myself. I imagine the whole scenario as the problem being a river. It's too deep to wade across, too powerful to swim across. Right now,  the only way seems to be to dig a tunnel underneath the river, with the full knowledge that at some point the river will break the tunnel and flood it.

I guess the whole point of this post was just to enquire whether there's anyone else out there who's been through this sort of stuff? And also to tell you that it's a hard process, one which you'll never fully understand and yet, one day, you'll come out through the other side, out of the tunnel under the river, look back, and think, 'Why didn't I just build a bridge?'

Let me know what you think!

Love,

ScotsGirl x 

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Is It Time to Leave the TARDIS? (Warning! Spoilers!)

Okay, those of you who don't watch Doctor Who can stop reading right....about....NOW.

Right, hello, everyone! I know, I know, I've disappeared from the internet for a bit, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But hey! school starts tomorrow - for me - and once I have some sort of continuity in my life, the blog posts will happen more frequently. I'm definitely filming a video this weekend, because there is someone very special who I want to introduce you all to....

But hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself. Who else watched Doctor Who on Saturday? And who else felt a  smidgen of disappointment at it? It wasn't a terrible episode - just, it wasn't brilliant either. I shall explain myself.

First off, EGGS. What. the. actual. ? Why would a Dalek say "Eggs?" I mean, yes, I know, they're all crazy Daleks, but it just felt to me that Moffat was aiming for cheap laughs. Rory was brilliant in his conviction that the Dalek was asking for eggs, but surely even someone who doesn't watch Doctor Who knows that the first thing a Dalek will say is EX-TER-MIN-ATE.

And another thing involving the Ponds. Surely Amy and Rory had already discussed the fact that Amy can no longer have children. Sure, Amy had noble intentions for letting Rory go, but it was just SO OBVIOUS that she was having a rant in order to explain it to the audience. Sorry, Moffat, but we DO NOT NEED TO BE SPOON FED.

And, sorry, but WHY SHOW US THE NEW COMPANION WHO IS A DALEK. JUST WHY. The only possible plot from now is that the Doctor will meet her before she becomes a Dalek and has to live with the terrible truth of it. Then he'll care for her, then he might fall for her, then BAM! She'll be wanting EGGS. TER. MIN. ATE. Heheheh.

However much I didn't really enjoy this episode, I know of one fan who's post on www.leakynews.com has provoked outrage amongst his fans. Alex Day, AKA nerimon on YouTube, posted a long, loud, and frankly whiny post about how Doctor Who is rubbish and lists all of the things that was wrong with this episode, finally ending with the words, "So as of now, I’ll just let Charlie watch it (assuming HE still wants to) and he can tell me if there’s anything worth tuning in for at any point. I’ll check it out again properly when Moffat stops showrunning. It makes me sad to see a show with such potential waste hour after hour on this fluff, and watching any more of it will only make me sadder."

I'm so sorry to interrupt, Alex, but isn't Doctor Who the show upon which you make quite a lot of your money off? You have a band called Chameleon Circuit, whose second album actually BEAT Coldplay's second album, and you go and have a rant about how much Doctor Who sucks? Yeah, I agree, it wasn't the best episode I've ever seen, but they happen! That's why the best episodes are the best! GAHHHHH

Happily, my irritation was mirrored by this truly wonderful person who had quite a retort to Alex. I've copy and pasted his response here.

I've watched you from way back when you started, supported Forever Yours to an unhealthy extent, listened to VLR religiously and genuinely enjoyed a lot of your work and output for years. It's sad it's come to this.
I unsubscribed last month. Your videos were either about your music or demanding something like "Email Karen Gillan" (Which is a lovely thing to do considering you just tore apart her character in a heavy handed way), or about some awful socially awkward encounter/sex joke where 90% of the time you come across as a David Brent or Alan Partridge like character which is perfectly funny until it's a real person.
Why am I telling you this? I didn't. I unsubscribed and left it. I didn't write a 7-point article insisting my opinion is the word of god and imply anybody that disagrees with me has awful taste. I just left it. I didn't ignore most the following comments unless they agreed with me or provided a vehicle for me to try and make some profound statement on the quality of your work.
I mean for somebody that hates the Moffat series you did a great job cashing in with your recent Chameleon Circuit album, glad the Moffat era bought you a house. Did you write this infront of your Amy Pond cut out? That cut-out is realistic because as you've pointed out she has no depth anyway.
I'm not going to waste my time pulling apart your fact twisting criticisms as like the angry idiots on Outpost Gallifrey you wouldn't listen and just get more insistent you had "won".
When you were a kid making videos in your room about a shit day you had or whatever it was fun, you were one of my personal teenage escapes. Probably a big part of my life back then. Now you've become arrogant as you're permanently aware of the audience watching. So you end up publishing nasty filth like this and actually believe that you're right, it's just nasty Alex. When an actual respected critic does this they do it in a way where it is fair and inquisitive while comparing it to existing merits. Not just violent hate.
But fine stop watching it, I mean think of all the other things you can be doing at that time on a Saturday? Watch Red Or Black? X-factor? What fun.
Good luck in life. Sorry Doctor Who has fallen in quality. I just watched a 4 year old, 8 year old and a 15 year old and a 56 year old gushing over the prequel and then episode itself. They must be as retarded as me, or maybe know it's just a TV show. A magical, original and still totally unique TV show.

And YOU, Mr Alex Day, can take THAT to the BANK.

More later,

ScotsGirl x 

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

I don't know how many of you watch me on YouTube. But if you do, you might have realised how little I've been posting lately.

IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I KNOW!

I currently have about 4 different projects on the go at the mo (teehee!) and I'm planning on filming another video today, so I'm hoping that there will soon be a flurry of videos appearing very shortly.

STAY TUNED!

That's all, folks,

ScotsGirl x 

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

I Don't Think I'm Normal

But then, I guess, that's why I'm me. Me, and no-one else.

I'm pretty sure that there are some grammar freaks freaking out about that last sentence.

Oops.

But then again, why don't I think I'm normal? Well, aside from all the obvious stuff, like DNA, characteristics, and genomes, my personality - especially recently, has gone off on a meander. By this I mean that recently I've gone on a film binge, catching up a lot of movies that I've not seen in a while - Disney, for example. However, something very strange has happened. I've started to cry at movies. And not just when you're supposed to, either. I mean literally about once per movie I well up and tear just a little bit - usually when the happiest part of the movie is.

Okay.

I'm crying with happiness an awful lot.

I'm definitely not normal.

But then again, I wouldn't have me any other way.

Love,

ScotsGirl x 

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

I seem to be developing an unfortunate habit of posting only about once a month. This is not good enough.

Today, luckily enough for all of you, dear readers, I am having a bit of a nostalgia moment. Technically, I finished compulsory school a few days ago (Saturday) and as such have voluntarily decided to keep going with school. But, as I can finally look forward to the perfect summer - or as perfect as it can be with all this dratted weather here in the UK - I figured that right now would be the perfect time to look back on some wacky memories. So, let us begin.

I was shy and introverted growing up. When I started my secondary school I began to make more friends - and five years later it is still these same people I am hanging out with, staying at their houses, keeping them company. And although some people would maybe consider changing their friends, I - well, I wouldn't. These people are kind and honest. They have been there for me through some of my toughest times as a teen - bad breakups, family emergencies - and have generally become a family of sorts. We watch out for each other at school, around town. We're not afraid to poke fun at one another and to hang with the consequences because that's what friends - no, sisters - do. I consider my best friends as part of my extended family, and although it may sound soppy, I hope that it shows.

Of course, life could not be life without its fair share of hiccups along the way. At the last count, I've broken two toes, 3 fingers, a thumb and an elbow growing up. Owch. However, I've decided that the worst kind of pain is definitely the emotional kind - the kind that thumps you in the stomach and lies there for days, making you ache inside. Again, I couldn't have gotten through my family dramas and my bad breakups without my best friends. Thank you guys, for always making me smile :)

One of the memories, which has always stuck with me since childhood, is the time I broke my elbow when I was 7 years old. I remember we had been playing 'tag' on the playing field in prep school and that in the field was a small slope. Like an idiot I ran straight down the slope, lost my footing, put my hands out to stop myself - and well, lets just say that my elbow has never been the same since! What I remember most clearly about that day is a friend who, looking back, I haven't spoken to in a very long time. She ran for the teacher, before running back and helping me up and walking back with me to the teacher who was waiting at the playground gate. I don't think I ever did say thankyou to her for that - so if you're reading this, thanks. I know, its about 9 years too late, but better late than never, right?

It's important to remember that there are always going to be people who will have an impact on your life, good and bad. We can't help the fact that things will get us down from time to time, or that troubles will surface right when we least need them around. All we can do is rely on ourselves and the people who we care about and who (hopefully) care about us, too. We are judged on the choices we make, not what others make for us, and I think it's important to remember that.

Hope I've given you some food for thought (and also not embarassed anyone!)

Love,

ScotsGirl x

"It is by chance we met, it is by choice we became friends." - Sabrina Ward Harrison

Monday, 9 July 2012

I Hate the English Weather

Everyone keeps telling me that it's going to be an Indian summer, that August will be really nice and hot, that I won't be able to watch Ice Age 4 any time soon because of the queues for tickets.

This irritates me for a number of reasons.

For a while I didn't actually know what an Indian summer was until my French teacher told me what it meant. It basically, to the best of my understanding, means that summer will still be summer! Just, y'know....later. Which is frustrating. I am FED UP of this RUBBISH weather. I went out twice yesterday - during a month's worth of rain. I looked like I had drowned, according to my mother. T'was not fun.

Even if August is really nice and hot for London - and I hope it will be for my friends sakes - I WON'T BE HERE TO APPRECIATE IT.
I'm going to France for my summer holiday (*eep*) and I'm very much looking forward to getting myself a tan - a novelty, considering how good my track record for tanning is. August should be nice and hot, but preferable I would like a nice warm July as well.

And finally, in case you didn't realise......THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN (the boys are back in town!)



Yes, our favourite woolly mammoths, sloths and sabre-tooth tigers are back! I suspect the title speaks for itself but I'm just going to add one thing - MONKEY PIRATES. 'Nuff said. I suspect that a lot of people will be reading this and going, 'what? this is a teenage girl?!' to which I reply 'Yes, yes I am. but WHO CARES?'

Seriously, though, I am a GIANT child at heart. I mean, come on, I grew up watching these guys. It's like saying you can't watch Toy Story because you're too old for that. You can't watch Harry Potter because you're too old for that. You're not allowed to go and watch Monsters Inc. 2 because YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT.

Yeah, so not going to happen. I can't wait to see these movies, and as I'm going with some of my closest friends it's going to be a ball.

Love,

ScotsGirl x 

Friday, 15 June 2012

I'm Ba-ack!

Hey everyone,

It's been far too long, I know, and I do apologize for that. Normally I do quite long, occasional posts but I've received a number of emails telling me to write more often. However, that means that posts will definitely be shorter unless I have a particular topic to write about. I'm not promising I'm going to write every single day, but I'll try to write a lot more than I have been!

So, today's topic. Procrastination. I can pretty much say I will do ANYTHING to get out of what I'm supposed to be doing. Quite often I enjoy what I'm supposed to be doing, it's just getting into that whole frame of mind where you want to just keep on working. It's especially hard at the moment, what was study leave and GCSE's (exams) at the mo. We don't really have proper lessons any more, just study, so there's no real structure apart from moving from classroom to classroom.

I wonder, what do you do to procrastinate?
Love,

ScotsGirl x 

Monday, 21 May 2012

Why I Despair for the Future of TV


Y’know, I find it quite difficult sometimes to imagine the minds of my friends and schoolmates. What do they think of me? Do they know how I think of them? Do they understand the difference between ionic and covalent bonding of atoms?

Because I don’t.

But one thing that I simply cannot comprehend is their love for frankly quite crappy TV shows. Shall I name a few?  TOWIE, Desperate Scousewives – I mean, what? Who? WHY? Why are you watching these stupid shows which just give Britain a bad name? We’re hosting the Olympics this year, for goodness sake! The last thing we need are the other countries turning up and simply assuming that we’re all orange as baked beans with ‘vajazzles’ and no knowledge of how to actually speak PROPER ENGLISH, INNIT?

Am I being too harsh? I don’t care. I live in Essex! I’m not orange! I can write long and complex essays on why John Proctor is the tragic hero of the Crucible! I simply do not care for fake tan, 8 inch heels - and the fact that two of the cast had a conversation about why goats were called goats. Seriously.
I’m paler than most girls, that’s true (I don’t tan) and I don’t spend endless amounts of money on clothes and makeup, but I like to think that people are going to be my friends for my ‘sparkling’ personality and wit.

I’m not the only one who feels like this, and for this I am eternally grateful. Russell Howard, one of my all-time favourite comedians, feels exactly the same way. Did you know that the government says that TOWIE has boosted the economy by people buying fake tan, fake eyelashes, and vajazzles? Whilst the sale of vajazzles has gone up by about 400%, as the wonderful Russell Howard said, “the sales of books have gone down by 800%!” (NOTE: this is not a real figure!)

Just going to say it once – if I end up running a tanning salon and a TOWIE member walks in, beware – you might end up like this:
Description: http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/120503012933-ac-ridiculist-over-tanning-mom-00024915-live-video.jpg
Still, I do have a little confession of my own.
Easter Holidays are over, and we’re back to school, but I haven’t yet told anyone of my secret. So congrats, internet, you’re the first to know: I may have, sort of, kind of, watched the first series of Glee and completely and utterly enjoyed each episode.
.
This is actually a bit of a shock to me, to be quite honest. When Glee first came out, I had no idea of its existence until that fateful night when I stayed round my best friend’s house. We woke up early, and because the house was frozen, we took our duvets and scrambled down the stairs into the living room, where my best friend gave me the remote.

“Go on,” she said, “You pick.”
She spoke far too recklessly – I had heard of Glee and when I saw it was on, I immediately chose it, hoping to see what all the fuss was about.

Guess what I saw when I turned it on?
A boy. In a leotard. With two other girls, also in leotards. Dancing “Single Ladies”. And dancing it rather well.

I’m sure we can all agree that for a first impression of Glee, it was not proving to be completely and utterly wonderful, but actually rather insane. It wasn’t until later than I learnt that Kurt Hummel was gay, and even though I then understood Glee a little better, I still remember falling about laughing before changing the channel and never watching Glee again.

So, what are your thoughts on TV shows? What are your favourites, and which ones do you hate? Comment below (you don’t need to be a member!) and let me know!

Signing off for now,
ScotsGirl x